Resources
Find information that will help you help your child.
Sibling Ages 7-14
In most cases, the sibling has the longest-lasting relationship with a person who has a disability. As the pre-teen years approach, 8-14, they will continue to be playmates, however, there you will see the non-disabled sibling begin to form more of an advocate type roll as well.
The non-disabled sib knows their disabled sibling’s queues and needs and can act like an extension of their parents in social situations. The sibling can help with interactions with outside family members for their special needs sib, they can start sharing in the help of taking care of their special needs sibling, they can even be the one who helps figure out why their special needs sibling is upset or frustrated because they understand each other so well. The bond the siblings can form at this age is very strong and continues to elevate the non-disabled sibling(s) to become a young advocate.
THINGS TO CONSIDER ABOUT YOUR CHILD/CHILDREN (NON-DISABLED) DURING THESE YEARS:
They may want to start to understand their sibling's diagnosis, or medical situation, in more detail. If they haven’t asked more about this yet, it might be helpful to ask them if they are curious about it. They may be afraid or worried about asking these questions.
Consider having your non-disabled children join a local Sibshops group. Sibshops provide young brothers and sisters peer support and information in a lively, recreational setting. Check out the resource link to find a Sibshop near you.
If your children attend school, teachers and aides may lean on your non-disabled child(ren) when their special needs child is having a hard day. Discuss this option with your non-special needs child and then the school that way everyone knows the parent’s expectation. Discussing days like this ahead of time may also prepare them for success as their sib’s advocate.
Most non-disabled siblings tend to become very independent due to the amount of attention that needs to be paid to their special needs sibling by their parents. Try to make a point to set aside some special time for the non-disabled sibling(s) with each parent. Even if one parent needs to stay with their special needs child at all times, each can take turns.
Check out the list of recommended books below that were written with the non-disabled siblings in mind. These books may help initiate conversation and support as your children grow.
There are many resources online including blogs, support groups, and non-profits that can give you some guidance as your non-disabled child grows up with a special needs sibling.
Resources
The Other Kid
Oh Brother!
Living with a Brother or Sister with Special Needs
